I've always been a fairly confident person - and a fairly brave one - but until recently I've had trouble facing up to one major aspect of who I am. Coming to terms with myself has not been easy and for nearly nine years I have been scared of it. Looking back, I never expected to be open about my sexuality, but I was young and unreasonably fearful of the opinions of others. In January of this year, I met someone who would change all of this; someone who I knew I could be happy with and I knew that it was something special and worth changing for. As the months have passed, I've slowly become more and more comfortable with the aspect of being gay and being out and I have seen that people aren't as disapproving as I feared. I have seen that good friends remain good friends no matter what.
I've always understood what love was, and have known what it is and how it works; I've known the general nature of it. Feeling it is completely different. Feeling so connected to someone is very special and knowing that someone cares about you just as much as you care about them is one of the best feelings in the world. It was love that help me overcome my fear because I knew that no matter what happened, I would still have that.
Looking back, I find myself wishing I had been open about it a long time ago because then at this point I would have nothing to hide and things might flow more smoothly. At the same time, I think this process may have made us (myself for sure) stronger. I suppose I just needed a reason and now I found it (or maybe it found me!). Putting all thoughts and regrets aside, I believe my life can be more fulfilling than ever now and I look forward to whatever lies ahead of me. As with many situations, late is better than never and I'm just lucky that someone was willing to be patient with me and give me a chance.
Thank you to all of my friends who have always been there for me and who continue to do so. You know who you are.
